Couples in Different Directions

The following is just me copying and pasting an article by John Piper. If you are a Christian, it applies to you.

What would you say to a couple who feel very differently about the direction their life should take?
By John Piper

I believe that the man is called to be the head, according to Ephesians 5:23 ("The man is the head of his wife"), and that headship implies leadership, protection, and provision. I think those three things are implicit and explicit in the Ephesians text, and that the leadership part implies that, in general, a woman marries a man with the understanding that his life calling will govern their relationship.

When I was dating Noël, I would ask her, "If I'm called to do this, how would you feel? And if I'm called to do that, how would you feel?," because most women marry men before the men are fixed in their life calling, and they know that the life callings change. Of course, if you don't believe in the biblical view of headship that I do, then you're going to say, "Well, we're just going to negotiate this 50/50 and figure it out, somehow."

I just think men should be very clear with the women they're courting or dating and say to them, "Will you follow me wherever God leads me?" Now here's the catch. Jesus said to the men, "Love your wives as Christ loved the church and gave himself for her." Therefore there is no bone in this man's body that wants to drag his wife where she does not want to go. That's just not the way he wants to lead. Jesus doesn't want to lead us that way. He won't drag us to heaven against our will. If we want out, we can get out (and thus prove that we were never in). But Jesus clearly does not lead coercively.

So this is a real problem. I understand that. It's a real problem and it's not simple.
Let's just assume the man is the one who is dreaming the bigger, harder dream and the wife is slower in coming. I would not urge any precipitous action on his part. I wouldn't say, "She's supposed to submit. Tell her to submit, buy the tickets, sell the house." That's not the way Jesus leads. It's not the way any man with any brain would lead. However, he is going to say to her, "I do believe God is calling us to this. I'm not going to act precipitously. I want you on board with all of my heart, and I will give you time. Can we pray about this? Can we do whatever we need to do to grow together in this vision?"

I have seen it work. I've seen it work both ways in this church, where the woman is just fired up for missions and the man is a business man, and he is thinking that she is crazy. But I know where they are in the world right now, because he came around. It took about 5 years, but he was set on fire. And she was very patient. I think the man has more authority and more leadership responsibility, but he may also take 5 years.

The degree to which a woman's "No" should trump a man's "Yes" depends in part on how serious her "No" is. And I don't think you should divorce over a sense of pastoral calling, like "I'm leaving you if you won't come." That won't work in the pastoral ministry.

I want to say to the women: give yourself earnestly to pray through to following your man. And I want to say to the men: don't drag her, coerce her, abuse her, or ignore her wisdom. She may see things you don't see. Listen to her, and then patiently, wisely, lovingly win her to the vision.

Praying believing...?

I went to my aunt's church, Grace Fellowship, this past Sunday. The worship was just incredible (Revelation song, The More I Seek You... but not just the songs, it was the way they were delivered and how big the Lord showed up) and then we started to pray. The preacher asked for an old man to come to the front and we laid hands on him and prayed for him. He has been having pain in his back that radiates down one arm and one leg, and the doctors can't find out what's wrong, so are unable to effectively treat his pain. Some people around me spoke in tongues, some asked for healing in this man's life, and I stood there and asked for the Lord's will to be done... because it would be tragic to ask so confidently for healing and that not be in the Lord's plan, right? Wrong. I realized in that moment (Lindsey... you and I talk about this ALL the time)... that praying believing comes with desiring a specific, God-honoring outcome. For a long time, I was scared to pray with a specific outcome in mind because I didn't want to pray for the wrong thing and then get it (weird, huh). But, I think that if we are in the word and walking closely with Him, our desires will line up with His desires, and praying for the wrong thing is not something to worry about. So I think I'll be more bold now. I'm sorry it took so long, Jesus.

Nursing

Well, I forgot that I have a blog again. How can I stop this vicious cycle of remembering and then forgetting (when it comes to blogs)?! Sometimes remembering things are fun... like when you remember you hid your favorite candy somewhere (haven't done that since I had siblings in the house), or found money in your wallet AFTER you left the vending machine thinking you should start to carry cash in your wallet... actually that's not fun, that's just remembering... anyways...

My life is so busy lately! Nursing school is SO much fun, but time consuming. I love having those, "AH HAH!" moments, and I have numerous "ah hah" moments every day because I have a body and I experience things that I learn in class!! I love it so much. However... when it comes to loving school, actual patient care (clinical) trumps all. There is just something beautiful about the combination of being a woman, seeing a dying/hurting person, knowing how to meet that need, meeting it, and then seeing their reaction that gives me an immense amount of joy. It makes the poop, the vomit, the pus, the sputum, the blood, and the urine smells all worth it.

Maybe I experience what custodians experience... and hair dressers... and nail ladies... and moms. We get to see people at their worst, identify their need, and make them healthy and beautiful.

And can I say... in a weird way, in some circumstances, people at their "worst" are actually at their most beautiful. For example(s)... when girls don't wear makeup. When the "tough one" cries. When God's people break over their sin. Or take it from Matthew 5...

3Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.

4Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted.

5Blessed are the meek, for they will inherit the earth.

6Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they will be filled.

7Blessed are the merciful, for they will be shown mercy.

8Blessed are the pure in heart, for they will see God.

9Blessed are the peacemakers, for they will be called sons of God.

10Blessed are those who are persecuted because of righteousness, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.

Soon As You Can by Dierks Bentley

When a man wants to be with a woman

There ain't no way of gettin' there too fast

When you know who you wanna spend

The rest of your life with

You wanna start the rest of your life

As soon as you can

Into The Wild

If you are a human, PLEASEEEEEEE go see the movie Into The Wild.

"After graduating from Emory University in 1992, top student and athlete Christopher McCandless abandoned his possessions, gave his entire $24,000 savings account to charity, and hitchhiked to Alaska to live in the wilderness. Along the way, Christopher encounters a series of characters who shape his life" (plot summary from a website).

Yes, I just cited in a blog. Anyways... this is not the kind of movie you can anticipate. It absolutely tugs your heart strings. No sex, little language, no gore, no drugs... just a little guy with a huge, hippie heart. It's raw, real, and heavy. It is the best movie I have ever seen in my LIFE. I have never cried so hard or had such a deep conversation afterwards. It made me question. It made me think. It made me love.

A Good Steal

This is from Lindsey's blog :) and I fell in love with it. This article describes me to a TEE, minus his opinion on gun control.

"So, when I seriously look at the Bible’s whole value system then apply it to the political parties today, I find that in my view the Democrats are a bit more Biblical than the Republicans. Sure, I dislike the secularists and anti-religion folk in my party and I’ll do what I can to beat them back into the bushes. But when I go into the voting booth and vote for a Democrat it is not in spite of my faith but because of it."

Worth your time... http://www.drurywriting.com/keith/democ.htm

Hermit Me

I used to live inside a shell,

But until now I couldn't tell.

Surroundings always stayed the same,

None to lose and none to gain.

I took no chance, buried my head,

Everything I knew was fed.

The food made me grow and grow

My shell kept getting tighter, though.

My shell became too tight and cracked 

I saw the light and turned my back.

The crack grew to the other side

I knew I could no longer hide.

I crawled into this strange new world

The old world that I knew unfurled.

Some things I knew were strengthened here

Some things I knew became unclear.

This new place that I found was more

It didn't feed me anymore.

At first I ate off others' plates

And soon realized my "moocher" state.

I wanted to find food on my own

But soon found that I'd be alone.

In solitude I found my strength

And took myself to brand new lengths.

Now I am a happy crab

Escaped the shell I used to have

I'll try some on to fit for size

Until I find one I call mine.

Although it fits me for today,

I'll always grow, so never stay.

For if you never eat you'll find

You'll surely shrivel up and die.

Food in teeth.

So, today I got home from a 5-hour day at school, only to find a piece of food in my teeth. I thought to myself, "Crap. Who all has seen this today? Where they grossed out by me? Why didn't I notice?! This just ruined every conversation I had today! Dangit!!" Then I thought to myself, how in-depth is my train of thought when someone else has something in their teeth? Really, it never goes beyond either "I think I'll tell them now" or "I'm not going to interrupt." I never characterize the person as gross. I never think about seeing that piece of food in someone else's teeth beyond the moment. It doesn't impair my listening skills. There are many things in life I can apply this concept to.

Go little Chinese boy!

A little 9 year old boy marched with China in the presentation of the nations for the Olympics. He was a brave survivor of the recent earthquake. They were in school when it happened, and he got burried with rubble, got out, and then saved 2 classmates. When asked why he went back to save his classmates, he replied, "It was my duty as a leader. I'm hall monitor."

Hard.

It's hard, but so worth it. But man it's hard.

When I'm quiet, here's what I'm chewing..

A compilation of theories from the minds of Jordan and Malorie. (The things we think and then talk about)

1. The smallest living thing on this planet is an atom. It has a dense nucleus with electrons rotating around it in some pattern. This fact is well known and proven. Or is it? The solar system. It has a dense sun with planets rotating around it in some pattern. Our universe. This is the largest structure known to man (well, partially known). It has some kind of dense center with galaxies floating around it. Can you see where I’m going? Recently, scientists discovered a sound wave inside of an electron (the smallest structure known to man). Is it a coincidence that an atom and a universe have the same structure? Since they do, is it possible that an electron is something else’s galaxy? Is our galaxy something else’s electron? Do you believe that our God is ONLY worthy of praise from our small earth? I don’t necessarily think that.

2. We are the only mammals that continue to drink milk past the age of weaning. Other mammals drink their mother’s milk for a period of time, stop, and then start eating adult food. Humans drink their mother’s milk for a period of time, stop, and then start drinking cow’s milk. Is this really good for our breed? If so, why isn’t this an innate practice demonstrated amongst animals? Why don’t dogs start drinking their mother’s milk and then go share with a cat? How is this affecting our nutrition? Does the continuation of drinking SO much concentrated nutrients in one glass over a LIFETIME give us the advantage (the human race is getting taller= physical effects, technology is advancing=mental effects) or it is just a cheap item to throw into a grocery cart?

3. What if this life is a dream (or a different state of awareness)?

4. Stupid people are multiplying. Most people have heard this theory, because it seems to be a hot topic of conversation and one easily explored and understood. For those of you who haven’t, let me explain: I will refer to “smart” people as those who have some kind of education, money, awareness AND consideration of consequence, and some type of knowledge of our economy in its present state. “Stupid” people are those with a combination of little education, little money, little to no consideration of consequence, and little to no knowledge of our economy. Here is the SMART American family: One in which a husband and wife decide on how many kids to have according to how many they desire initially and what they can afford, within God’s plan. Before and after the decision is made, birth control methods are implemented and the family is satisfied. The “stupid” American family is one in which the parents are not married, or maybe they are, but NO thought is put into how many kids, when the kids are conceived, and if they can pay for them or not. But fear not “stupid” ones; we have a democracy! You can claim WeLfArE and every working American will pay FOR YOUR KIDS! Having a family doesn’t mean you have to have money, or to be working, married, or even together. It seems that the “smart” ones should be outnumbered, right? Well, the trend is heading that way. But for now, crime seems to manage the “stupid” population.

5. Blue = red. Most would consider this statement false, but I wouldn’t necessarily say that. Every tangible object, living and non-living, is made of atoms, that make up structures, that make up surfaces. We see surfaces because light bounces off of them and reflects some of that light back to our eyes, depending on its composition, and our mind interprets that light. However, every mind thinks differently. Could it be that when light hits an object and reflects blue back to me, it reflects red back to you? Think about it... because the wavelengths of colors are always consistent, there would never be a discrepency in color, even though we are seeing one object differently. Can this be tested? No, because you can’t see what another mind sees with any type of technology. It’s just a thought.

Happy Birthday, Linds!!

I have a special friendship
That has done me so much good.
I didn't know one person
Could mean this much or would.

She showed me rest in silence
And my identity
Words to my emotions
And spontaneity

Feet grew on my dreams
Of singing on a stage
Of dancing all night long
And breakin' out [of] my cage!

Without her, life is dull.
I get bored easily.
I'm glad we'll be together
In this sweet family!

my kitten

Kitty chews her tail ALL DAY LONG. Is this normal? Someone help me raise this thing!!!

Holistically beautiful

I had a patient today who was holistically beautiful. At the ripe old age of 87 with FLAWLESS black skin and gorgeous white dentures, she smiled more than anyone I've ever met. With braided white hair and bright pink nails at the end of hands that have seen many hardships, she grabbed my heart like she'd never let go.

Her mother died in childbirth with her because there were complications and they could not afford healthcare (and for a split second, I turned into a Democrat). She had a hard childhood, doing farm chores until wee hours of the night and occasionally walking to school when she could. She married at the age of 18, and he was burned to death a year later. She married again 5 years later, and he was killed in a war. So she never re-married or had children, but she was a mother her entire life. With a smile so big it almost hindered her speech, she spoke at length about the white kids, black kids, and Asian kids that romped through the house. She cared for them like it was nobody's buisness-- and one of them, she calls her daughter. Her story forced a tear down my cheek. Lastky, She has been a Christian all of her life and clings to Christ with everything she has.

She was Captivating (READ THE BOOK). She had everlasting joy instead of instant happiness. She had an instant love for people instead of a preconceived notion. She rested in me AND herself; she was not trying to entertain me and she was not insecure about herself. She was present in the moment. Silences were welcomed as moments to dwell on emotions; akwardness did not enter the room.

"Lord, make me beautiful like my patient. Do what it takes to break my heart and get me to this point. Throw out desires for instant happiness, my preconceived notions, insecurites, and assumptions about akwardness, as only You can do. Please give me the "forever joy," GENUINE love for all strangers of all colors, rest, confidence, presence, and the beauty that you gave my patient, as I strive for these things as well. Amen."

My first song, written today! (I like poetry better)

Cling To Me

When wind is strong I often bend
I need you to be firm again
Your faith can overcome my doubt
And clear away my every cloud

[Chorus]
Cling to me.
Don’t let my head get near those clouds.
Yell at me.
Don’t leave any room for doubt.
I need this.
I get carried away by this world.
So hold me.
And ground this floating girl.

Theories, doctrines, cultures, notions
You know where to put emotion
Listen and open your eyes
But then help me to see the lies

Cling to me.
Don’t let my head get near those clouds.
Yell at me.
Don’t leave any room for doubt.
I need this.
I get carried away by this world.
So hold me.
And ground this floating girl.

You shine the Truth into my thoughts
For every lie you warred and fought
My weight, my height, my skin, my hair
There is no more deception there.

You got to me.
You kept my head from those high clouds.
You yelled at me
When you knew I was full of doubt.
I need this.
I get carried away by this world.
So hold me.
And never leave your girl.

I need this.
I get carried away by this world.
So hold me.
And never leave your girl.

Learning to walk... on blogs

WELT. I finally did it! I succomed to the immense amount of peer pressure, pushing and pulling me into the world of technology and blogging... or was that just my inner desire? I think it was the latter. :) I love technology. But not as much as you, you see.